On the morning of August 22, 2022, I lost my older brother after a long fight with cancer. Within my family, we would rarely talk about what we were going through when someone died. We would attend the funeral, and then ignore what we were going through until we could come back together later as semi-healed. I wanted us to connect, talk about and to my older brother, break the cycle that had unknowingly been created through time, and begin a healing process.  

We wrote to my brother, and through reading letters we wrote to him, there was a connection through our shared grief. We were sharing these moments and memories that were written in a way we haven't done since his funeral; opening up to each other and connecting as a family. We burned these letters after we read them, keeping the ashes as if keeping the ashes of our loved ones, displaying them as offerings. By burning these memories, we sent them to him to share this moment with him. I placed these ashes in a Butsudan, a traditional Japanese at-home shrine to honor one's ancestors, which I had in my family home and grew up around. By doing this, we honor the ashes of these letters we have sent to him. I hope to see this continue with the people who witness our healing and opening up about the conversation around death—having this open conversation move through others so they, too, can heal in their own lives.